Hiatus
That’s where I’ve been, I have much trouble getting time these days.. No fun :( I feel bad because even though my modeling profile states this people keep writing to me about a booking and I end up sounding like a douche!
It’s currently really pouring rain, pretty crazy stuff and I’m inside with one of the worst periods ever! Got sent home from work cos vomiting. The cat’s all warm in bed and my parrots are loving the weather, chatting and kissing away haha
Last few months I haven’t been well, I was having such trouble with my stomach. Many tests and money spent later didn’t show much but I did my own thing and took note of what I ate and found a intolerance to highly processed foods and anything bad for you lol, I’ve been eating heaps of veg and fruits and staying away from junk foods, this seems to have settled me.. I’m a junk food fiend so it has been hard, plus side I lost a bit of weight.
A part of my hiatus was due to the fact that I also wasn’t happy with myself, even though free time is a major factor I must confess to self hate.. I felt fat, old, passed it, hit the wall….
I contacted people or did the social network thing and nobody gave interest in working with me, which a friend later said it was because she heard people were intimidated by me and that because I do nude work mostly that I wouldn’t be interested in their projects.. I’m the biggest doofus around and love just having a pic taken, I don’t bite.. I was finding that even well known latex fashion and art nude togs would only message me about xxx type shoots that they wanted to stay secrete like as if I wouldn’t be worthy of anything else and because I refused and stop putting up with bizarre attitudes a whole click of them has avoided me, well time reveals all and I doubt I’d be the only one.
Where was I going with this??? So here I am hating myself, thinking I’m crap and worthless, just a good pair of titts etc etc This year I grabbed all the inner strength I avoided and pulled it out, picked myself off the ground and now I has the plans and the goods and the better health..
Which .. Look at this .. I’m pretty proud!!
I believe sometimes we need to crash to find that inner strength, bare it all and examine the hurts and what they mean.
But looking on the bright side is that Feb’s work roster looks a little light and I may have free time, may have.. Because there are friends and family I need to connect with as well which last week I hung out with two of the most enchanting ladies, one was gothic model Contes Ashes .
So everyone be safe and smart in this crazy weather, be happy with who you are.. Love thyself first always first..
